Although she belonged to a family of clergymen she was brought up by her grandmother, who was very wealthy. Thus during her childhood and teenage years she lived a comfortable life.
However after her marriage she prepared herself for a simple life. Throughout her life she always tried to live according to the financial circumstances of Imam Khomeini; from when he was a student up to the revolution.
At home, Lady Khadija provided a peaceful and stress-free environment for Imam Khomeini when the movements against the Pahlavi regime began in 1962. When Imam Khomeini was arrested and sentenced to death in 1963, his wife showed great tolerance and their home became a place where many concerned people visited. The Imam's wife portrayed strength which in turn gave strength to the people. After Imam Khomeini was released from prison and was detained in the Qeytariah area of Tehran, a new period of patience and struggle began.
Lady Khadija moved to Tehran to be with her husband, who was under house arrest. This was a huge boost to the Imam's morale. When the Imam was freed and went back to Qom, large crowds of people and scholars came to visit him. Respecting all the imam's guests, treating them in an honourable way, and making sure they were all served with tea, was a difficult job and was managed by the Imam's wife.
The events which took place in 1964, like Imam Khomeini's famous speech regarding capitulation, the sudden attack on the Imam's house during the night, the Imam and Hajj Agha Mustafa's arrest and deportation, and having no news of the Imam, could have only been endured by a truly patient and courageous woman such as Lady Khadija.
Lady Khadija accompanied her husband when he was exiled to Iraq. She left behind her family and her children to be beside her husband. She felt great loneliness and was very homesick but never mentioned it to the Imam.
In Najaf, Lady Khadija had a great relationship with the wives of scholars such as Ayatollah Khoei, Sadr and other clergymen. Thus the scholars and clergymen of Najaf showed great affection to and admiration for the Imam and his family.
Hajj Agha Mustafa's martyrdom while they were in exile, was a very bitter and sorrowful experience for the Imam and his wife. When the revolution was finally victorious lady Khadija's sorrow multiplied as her son was not there to witness this great success. It is also worth mentioning that when the Imam's son was martyred, Imam Khomeini did not allow the media to focus on his son. This was because he believed that all martyrs of Iran are the same.
After the revolution, Imam Khomeini's wife provided a calm and suitable environment for the people interested in visiting Imam Khomeini at his home. She cooked simple food for the Imam who was given strict doctor's orders to abstain from having particular ingredients. Lady Khadija knew that she wasn't only a host to family and friends, therefore she received anyone who wanted to see Imam Khomeini and his family at their home. Her hospitality was famous among people in Qom, Najaf and Tehran.
Lady Khadija had a close relationship with the families of government officials and authorities, and made sure that her meetings with them did not involve political debates. This is evident from the fact that although many officials in the three decades after the revolution have changed, she was still in contact with many of their families and they still visited her on particular occasions. She also, as it is custom in Iranian culture, repaid their visits by visiting them in return.
After Imam Khomeini's death, she still showed strength and independence even though she lost her partner of sixty years. Her children always stood by her side and always supported her.
Lady Khadija appreciated the great ethical norms practiced by Imam inside and outside the family environment. She noted that Imam had given her and all family members a great deal of liberation and all were free to buy or eat of their own choices and styles. The great leader never imposed his own will on any of family members or friends
Lady Khadija Thaghafi once described through her memories that the founder of the Islamic Republic exercised a great amount of patience and tolerance during all tough years of struggle and following the victory of the Islamic Revolution.
Lady Khadija Thaghafi frequently appreciated the great ethical norms practiced by the great spiritual leader within and outside the family environment.The wise lady noted that the great leader never imposed his own will on any of family members or friends.
The great lady said Imam had given her and all family members a great deal of liberation and all were free to buy or eat of their own choices and styles.
The great leader of the Islamic world had only demanded her to perform obligatory worships and fulfill religious obligations. He never demanded too much extra or beyond expectations regarding the worldly and religious affairs, Lady Khadija noted.